“Adulthood” lyrics by Suli Breaks:
I was stripped of my childhood,
At the age of 16 I walked naked in manhood
my parents were Rolling Stones
no they were never in a rock band or on the cover of a magazine
it’s just that they never hung around enough to gather any moss
trips back and forth to Africa, in search of better life for us
always made me feel like the one we had wasn’t good enough
so me and my sisters harvested ourselves
trying to see the fruits of my labour hanging from my family tree
but you see it’s hard to grow trees in London City
My the age of 17, I knew that walking a certain way would have consequences
If my pants hang too high around my waist, and my trainers were slyly out of date
I might aswell have been walking with a target painted on my back.
You learn to do adult shit real quick
like you learn add base in your voice when asked provocative questions.
You learn to hold a man’s gaze just long enough to prevent him from calling you a “pussyhole”
You learn to read maps,
because if you ended up in the wrong postcode it could be a wrap.
You learn that death doesn’t have an age limit.
You learn that guns are only cool on playstation or terminator movies.
You learn that people can be cruel.
You learn what rent is,
and how your parents mood changes when it’s due.
You learn how the system deliberately chooses to forget about you.
You learn, that you went to school for 18 years thinking you learnt so much, but you didn’t really learn a thing.
The only thing you learnt is how to stop being a child.
Because, the adult world isn’t designed for us to dream,
not designed for us to only feel love
It’s a world where a smile is frowned upon
laughter is suspicious
and honesty is betrayal.
Is Childhood betrayal?
It is naive enough to make you believe, that all that make believe is real?
From time to time, I had conversations with my inner child,
he is always smiling, his row of glistening teeth a bridge to a happiness I sometimes forget
he is always dancing, even though his moves are outdated and his body far from graceful.
he mocks me
“I may be weak, but atleast I was never afraid”
If being a man means being afraid to love
afraid to trust
afraid to continue running, chasing those realities we formed, that you one day decided were better called “dreams”
Look at you, your too afraid to even be yourself
Tell me who is really the immature one?
If you let them take me away from you,
all you have left, is everything they gave to you
to letting them take me away from you
is difference between the profit a man who gains the world at the price of his soul.
But if you so desperately want to be accepted,
if you so desperately want to be an adult,
I know you will come back
you will come back
I just dn’t know if I’ll still be here waiting when you do.